The Travelogue, Part XXVI - Korea: Conclusion

Since I left Korea a bit early, some people were assuming I was not fond of it. Not true. Korea is a very nice and interesting place. I am just very weary of sightseeing. Thank god I am now in a country with very limited cultural heritage, so I don't feel forced to see stuff all the time. :D

Traveling  

Passing out drunk in the subway? No biggie.

Korea isn't exactly cheap if you compare it with Thailand or Indonesia, but it's not very expensive if you don't need luxury. If you spend your nights in love hotels (hostels are very rare), you'll spend about 15 $ or 10 £, which is not bad for a double room and you usually get mood lighting and free condoms with it, too. Sights are in the medium range, usually costing around 5 $, but can easily double or triple if the attraction is considered special such as the Secret Garden in Seoul. Organized tours are usually quite expensive; going to the DMZ, for example, will set you back around 70 $.

Transport is fast and comfortable, even a notch higher than in any industrialized country I have been to, and South Korea's short distances make sure it is cheap as well. Drivers don't seem to blast love songs at you, but buses have TVs and will use them.

Food

Grilling stuff on the table is just awesome.

Makkoli is low acohol rice wine served chilled with snacks

 
Food can easily be one of the best reasons to visit Korea, and my raving about it is only hampered by the fact that while Koreans have some of the most amazing food on the planet, they unfortunately also have some of the worst. There is reasons why people elsewhere don't eat sea squirts, and that's because they fail in every single quality, such as taste and texture, that makes food desirable. But then there is Kimchi, and you forgive them. My favourites are Bulgogi barbeque, marinated slices of beef, which is rolled in lettuce with red bean sauce, Kimchi Jigae, as spicy stew with lots of pickled cabbage and soy-fried mackerel.

Hooray for Kimchi-Jigae!

Food is very cheap for you're getting, around 7000 won (6 $) for a single meal including sides. It's much better if you go for food with several people, as many dishes are for at least two people, and restaurants frequently turn sole travelers away.

People

 Being more approachable than the Japanese, but still more complicated than the Chinese, Koreans seem to like to make connections, but are usually to shy to do so. In the big cities and while partying they buddy up quickly, but in smaller places they seem to shun foreigners. Be prepared for all sorts of prejudice among the older generation: Westerners are by definition seen as unclean, uncouth and a bit dense. If you are not white, even more so. From what I hear, long-term friendships with Koreans are difficult, due to the different social pressures, but manageable. On the plus side, old women regularly give you candy or extra food, just because they think you're nice.

Seoulites like to drink and party.

Pets are frequently dressed up and treated like kids.

Tourism Value

Apart from its culinary heights, Korea offers beautiful countryside with lots of manageable mountains covered in lush forest and littered with serene monasteries. If you can manage to avoid all the fasionable hikers in their space gear, it's an amazing place to find peace and tranquility.

Haein-Sa.

The Seogram Buddha, one of the finest in the world.

If you have been to China and Japan, the appeal of historic Korea declines somewhat. Traditional Korean architecture and arts do not vary greatly from that of her more well-known neighbours where it's already easy to get bored with the repetitiveness of imperial East Asian architecture. Much more interesting in my opinion is the modern, futuristic architecture by which Korea aims to become a global landmark.

If, unlike me, you like shopping then I can definitely say that Korea is a heaven. Whether it be funky independent attire, antiques or furniture, Seoul definitely deserves its reputation as a design capital.

Seoul at night

Conclusion

Because both were ubiquitous, I dub Korea "Land of Fog and Penis"

Korea is a good place to visit, but it's not gonna blow you away. I think it's best visited as a two week trip to Seoul, or maybe three weeks if you take in Jeju Island and some national park. It's got plenty of interesting diverse things to see in a very small space for a reasonable price, making it ideal for a small holiday. Whatever "Western" needs might arise, Korea will be able to provide, so it's safe to travel for less adventurous characters. So all in all, it's been fun, but unless I find reasons other than tourism, I wouldn't necessarily come back. I will keep a strong love for Korean cuisine and a heightened interest in the fate of the country. Have I mentioned that Korean cinema is pretty good, too?

The Travelogue, Part XXV - Korea: A Future in Glass and Neon

What Paris is for France, Seoul is for Korea. It's the country's public face, its economic, cultural and artistic hub, a giant 25 million moloch that dominates the whole penisula. Almost all elements of Korean culture can be found in its 600 year old capital, and many foreigners make it their only Korean stop when they travel Asia. It is here where you can best see how Korea perceives itself, where it came from and where it wants to go. It has helped me understand the fervid nationalism and the crazy pressure to outperform that shape this country. Students of Korean history might correct me, but these are my conclusions from my visit to Korea's urban heart.

This company's motto could well be that of South Korea

Seoul has great goals. It aims to be one of the top 10 world cities within the next decade, on par with cities such as New York, London or Paris. Everywhere you go, its achievements and ambitions will be heralded to you in big letters. Visiting its many museums and future projects has made me realize the troubles Korean identity has been through, and why they are so proud of their achievements. I hope that this (very) brief outline of its history of foreign dominance will do the same for you.

Korea as a Client Kingdom

Although officially independent, Korea was in its various forms mostly dependent on the benevolence of its giant neighbour. Ever since the Joseon monarchs adopted Neo-Confucianism and with it a plethora of Chinese court culture, Korea has gradually lost its grip on its own cultural heritage. Even today, anything relating to history and tradition will use Chinese characters, even if there are Hangul next to them. Same for architecture, music and medicine. Genuinly Korean culture seems to only have existed among as folk culture, and most things that struck me as uniquely Korean where displayed in the various folk museums around the peninsula.

Chinese influence is obvious in court buildings

The Japanese and Manchu Invasions

Joseon warrior, the uniform is clearly Manchu-style

Further adding to the Korean national identity crisis, the Koreans where first invaded by the Japanese during the 1500, then by the Machu in the 1600, each time taking massive losses, when all they wanted was to be left alone. Then the Qing (Chinese) empire came to make sure that Korea would keep that tribute coming and accept cultural hegemony.

Imperial Hegemony

In 1880 the Koreans were forced by the Americans to end their isolationism. They never came to enjoy it, however, as first the Russians and then the Japanese deemed them a perfect colonial state and subsequently invaded. Japan formally annexed Korea in 1905 and set on a quest to eradicate every single bit of Korean culture with typically Japanese brutality. Millions of Koreans where forced to adopt Japanese customs and language or died in prisons and torture camps. During World War II Korea was used a giant assembly line for the Japanese war effort, which included abducting thousands of young women as field prostitutes for Japanese soldiers (so called "comfort women").

Seodaemun Prison served as a torture site for the Japanese Empire

Today, it is a museum and symbol of national resistance and identity

Thousands of Korean partriots lost their lives behind its walls

Yu Gwan Sun, a famous female independence martyr

Cold War Split

After this ordeal was over, the Korean War and the subsequent split of the nation into effectively two seperate cultural zones with more than a modicum of indoctrination on both sides of the frontier, Koreans did what it had done for centuries before: get their heads down and make it through somehow. Rightfully they see themselves as very resilient, strong-willed people who will not despair in the face of adversity. Foreign cultural force was strong though, and a love for baseball and American accents are not the only persistent Western influence in Korean society.

The Tiger State

The Haechi, a ancient guardian figure, is the official symbol of Seoul.

Unchecked capitalism, inhumane work attitudes and unquestioning assimilation has catapulted South Korea into modernity to become one of the most vibrant economies on Earth. Companies like LG, Samsung or Hyundai can be frequently found across the globe, all due to the Korean's relentless desire to defend their place in the world. So it's unsurprising that many Koreans I meet seem to draw their national pride mainly from (technological) products their country exports. Export numbers seem to be directly related to the nation's advancement, and being on the forefront of technology is so important it will be frequently claimed on dubious grounds. So big is the obsession with being "the future" that it took foreigners to actually preserve traditional Korean buildings and save them from the ever-hungry bulldozers of modernity.

The success of the "hallyu", the Korean Wave, seems to have assured Koreans in their idea that they have to overtake everyone, so they can finally create history, and shape an uniquely Korean identity independent from everyone else's cultural influence. And that is merely beginning. Everywhere you care to venture in Seoul, whether it's trendy Hongdae or busy Gangnam, you will see a cyberpunky version of things to come that even puts Tokyo to shame. Seoul was the design capital of 2010, and it could well be for the decade to come. Teeming with ambitious architecture and indendent design stores, it's the place where a large part of Asia's young generation, from Thailand to Japan, looks to for inspiration and style.

Cool kids in Hongdae

Independent design stores can be found all over Seoul

The city's administration has also called for a veritable crusade against its urban concrete sprawl, and vast funds are made available to revamp large parts of the city, including the majority of the Han river shoreline. The projects are as ambitious as they are elegant, but I have no doubt that Korean steadfastness and limitless ambitions will see them all through.

Incheon Tower

Dongdaemon Design Plaza Mockup...

...and its real (unfinished) version.

Visitor console in Dongdaemon Design Plaza

Seoul at night

The Travelogue, Part XXIV - Korea: Couples, Kitsch and Concrete Dicks

This might well be the most entertaining post in my whole blog. It is the product of my visist to Jeju Island, and it will wipe away some of the drearyness my last post might have created. It's subject matter will call for many corny one-liners. You have been warned.

Jeju welcomes foreign visitors.

Jeju Island is Korea's southmost landmass, an hour flight into the Chinese Sea. Within the country, it is heralded as Korea's tropical paradise, which is why it is the prime destination for newlywed couples on honeymoon. It is famed for its tangerines and chocolate, although I wasn't very impressed by either of them. Maybe it is the fact that they are Korean tangerines and chocolate that makes the difference.
As a major tourist destination, Jeju jas a lot to offer, and parks, activities and obscure museums litter the roadside. Most of them fulfil the seemingly limitless Korean desire for cutesy kitschness and light physical entertainment (40 meters of horseriding anyone?). Striving for true cultural immersion, I took lovely Miss Yates under my arm and we began our fearless journey into the heart of pinkness. Follow us on a journey through Korean lovelife. I shall pick two, more mundane adventures can be found on facebook, as usual.

The Glass Castle

Koreans celebrate the bonding of souls and assets much more passionately than our more cynical Western world. Couples will not only cover every single Korean romance movie's filming location to relive their favourite cinematic moments, they will also wear matching outfits...and underwear. 

Matching shirts and cardigans....

...and matching underwear

Once the official frolicking is over, couples retreat to the hundreds of love hotels that cover the whole island. Some of them are quite elaborate and were built to look like European castles or imperial mansions. As they are the cheapest form of accomodation in Korea, I often find myself unloading my backpack in a room covered in red light and fake rose petals. But I disgress. 

Lovehotels shine at night

 Featuring various objects made from glass, the aptly named Glass Castle is as Korean honeymoon destination as it could be: hearts and rhinestones abound, and various disney-coloured landscapes frame your perfect memory to show to mum when you get back home. It's a true kitsch heaven, and if you never grew out of Cinderella, you will love this place.

Cutesy fairies point the way

A lot of the exhibits are created for fotoshooting

Despite appearance, the kids value of the park is relatively low.

The theme must be...

...everything tacky....

...in one place.

I admit, we skipped it. It was too much to handle.

All made of glass! So pretty!

It's like 'Cinderella' meets 'Taxi Driver'.

Jeju Loveland & The Museum of Sex and Health

If you read my last blog post, you have heard that traditional Korean society puts more emphasis on propriety and status of the family then the happiness of the individual. Arranged marriages and widespread sexual segregation did not necessarily help the individual discover the joys of physical love. When Korea became more liberal, Jeju Loveland and its museum was created to bring some sexual education (and ideas) to the usually anxious couples. The result is a somewhat comical, strangely akward theme park of random art bits, with the odd helpful explanation thrown in. If you ever wanted to hang out with Korean grannies giggling at gigantic stone phalluses, this is the place to go. I shall leave you now, the pictures will do the talking.

No cutesy fairies here.

I like tall, but there's limits. Especially with Yoga.

The mascot of Jeju, allegedly an old man, is just another dick.

Loveland offers many hands-on interactive art experiences...

...and the amount of pictue value is endless.

Some sculptures are more...abstract.

Me watching the 'Vagina Monologues'

And I have yet to see an enshrined vagina.

Mermen, on the other hand, are now ticked off the list.

Believe it or not, copulation between animals and women was a recurring theme.

It's not only a four star difficulty position, it is also politically questionable (outside Korea).

This picture is in the "learn about fetishes" corner and features a stoned Britpopper in a tracksuit having a crossdressing obsession. If they were aware of the subtleties of that setup?

No comment.

It's an traditional style drawing of a German prince having sex in rollerskates. Of course.

There are also commercials.

Ambiguous signage stands throughout the park.

Souvenirs made by local artists can be bought in the giftshop.

The two grandmas just took a picture with it. Stonefaced.

Miss Yates put in maximum effort to get me good pictures.

Now this is my best holiday picture ever.